ESPN: McCants standing firm on 'truth' about UNC
JSN: UNC coup continues?--first the foundation President, now Roy--someone must really want to take down Dean's fiefdom at long last.
ESPN: Pearl, Auburn land Niagara transfer Mason
JSN: But will Pearl allow Mason to pack heat on joy rides for old time's sake?
ESPN: Ibaka's brother to play for Oklahoma State
JSN: OSU sucking so bad they are signing brothers.
ESPN: Economist: Coaches reap benefits
JSN: And the night is dark.
ESPN: Georgetown-Cuse rivalry to resume in 2015
JSN: Two coaches that deserve to play each other.
ESPN: Both UConn hoops teams visit White House
JSN: Be nice. He can have you assassinated.
ESPN: NCAA reaches $20M settlement in EA case
JSN: If they'll pay this, think how much they must really be making off this sort of thing.
ESPN: Sources: Cavs offered Calipari nearly $80M
JSN: If Cal will turn down nearly $80M, think how much he must really being netting down at Lexington.
ESPN: WVU's Huggins has hip replacement surgery
JSN: Hey, basketball god, isn't Huggs playing in a league from another time zone enough penance for turning the game into thug ball?
ESPN: Irish's Connaughton to play another season
JSN: Confession is good for the soul but delays big bones.
ESPN: Transfer Harris to join Spartans, 'genuine' Izzo
JSN: Eron goes from Huggo Muggo to Ratso Izzo
ESPN: Roy Williams: In 'disbelief' about McCants
JSN: Uh-oh, "disbelief" sounds like one of those things attorneys tell you to say.
ESPN: UK inks Calipari to 7-year, $52.5M contract
JSN: Why did Cal turn down nearly $27.5M to stay in Lexington? Doesn't he know the salmon are biting on Lake Erie?
ESPN: Goodman: Billy Donovan best at NBA prep
JSN: Hell, yes! Billy got Noah and Horford to wait to turn pro; that was the best NBA Prep they could have gotten.
(Note: All satire. No malice.)
