ESPN: Embiid out 4-6 months for foot, source says
JSN: Next Chamberlain, or next Walton
ESPN: Big Ten head: No Rose Bowl if players paid
JSN: Says conference will fold and no Rose Bowl, if players paid: the odds of this are slimmer than the earth being swallowed by a black hole tomorrow.
ESPN: Ware gets waiver to play for Georgia State
JSN: Slick d'Ville's Kevin Ware goes from Some Ware to No Ware
ESPN: Charlotte coach recovering from eye surgery
JSN: In the kingdom of the blind...
ESPN: Tate George sentencing delayed until August
JSN: Borrowing from Peter to pay Ponzi?
ESPN: Wyoming's Shyatt reaches 5-year extension
JSN: 70-58 will get you $3.6M over 5, nice work if you can get it.
ESPN: Marist names DIII's Maker head hoops coach
JSN: 82% in D-III will get you to Marist, then what?
ESPN: Rock Chalk USA: KU to represent U.S. abroad
JSN: When you need to stop a losing streak, call the Minister of Defense.
ESPN: Nebraska coach Miles fined for negligent driving
JSN: Negligence = Driving Under the Influence of Not Caring?
ESPN: Hickey transfers to Oklahoma State from LSU
JSN: A Ford not a Lincoln gets a Hickey not a Smart.
ESPN: Penn St. AD retires effective Aug. 1
JSN: Enough child molestation guilt, let's win.
ESPN: Samuels to coach penalty-riddled Florida A&M
JSN: MU's Winslow new A&M AD wants his own man to introduce Antlerism to an unsuspecting program?
ESPN: Ex-Cowboy won't be retried in assault case
JSN: appeals court throws out former OSU player's conviction of rape by instrumentation--don't even ask.
(Note: All satire. No malice.)
