KSU: The Virgil and Cloris Debtmeier Hog Reproduction Testing Basketball Coach.
OSU: The T.Boone Pickens I Can't Even Buy a Good Basketball Coach Basketball Coach .
OU: The Lyle and Beatrix Dribbledong Clouded Red River Land Title Head Basketball Coach.
UT: The Bobby Bob and Belinda Bigwaggon Bush Base Basketball Coach
TTech: The Sam and Jezebel Piecehaighter Defense Contracting Basketball Coach.
TCU: The Jim and Tammy Praywell Kevlar Cathedral Basketball Coach.
ISU: The Paul and Eileen Snouteater Meaningless Iowa Caucaus Basketball Coach.
WVU: The Jerry and Mary Lieu West Virginia Was Stolen from Virginia for Its Oil, Coal and Saltpeter in the Civil War Basketball Coach.
(Note: All fiction. No malice.)