H-U-N-T-E-R M-I-C-K-E-L-S-O-N !!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Wayne Selden.
Intermittent Wayne of 2014-15 becomes Constant Selden and burns the nets for numbers that we all expected last season and his freshman season, and looks like a sure first rounder this season, but...
Hunter in 2014-15 was the poster boy for Cryogenic Preservation.
He has come so much farther.
He has sailed a course from the icy, nether regions of KU hoops.
Hunter was on life support systems like Neo laying in the pod in The Matrix. Self and his players were like the mad machines living off poor Hunter's energy and coolant-suspended determination. Each time Hunter was thawed he was like Neo exploding out of the pod, pale, wet, awe-eyed, awkward, like an ice hatchling. And he would mad stork it up and down the floor and it appeared that, while his timing was that of a wooly mammoth defrosted from a receding arctic glacier, there was an explosiveness and an anger in his sun-starved dermis that hinted that a playuh from small town Arkansas had something to give, but that all ties went to the guys that by playing them (instead of Hunter) could keep AAU coaches and big city high school coaches, and meat market basketball academy coaches continuing to feed the voracious KU program the steady stream of players needed to stay at a .82 W&L statement and keep the conference title string alive. There just wasn't a steady stream of prospects coming out of Hunter's home town. Playing Hunter stroked no feeder system. It greased no conveyor belt. The talent of one player was not the criterion of who played and who got iced. It was the talent of one player and all the future recruits that could follow him that was the criterion for who played.
How do we know this?
Because when Bragg gets a busted sniffer and the increasingly customary freshman concussion KU bigs appear to get, er, excuse me, I meant the busted sniffer and the nicking up that they appear to get, and when this season's token (and only) OAD, Cheick Diallo, is home honing skills and moving free iron for the Hudy Lama of Basketball Tibet, and Perry has returned to limping, and Lucas and the Jam Tray need a blow, enter not so much the Mad Stork, but the Albino Albatross that follows Bill Self like the big winged bird followed the rhyming ancient mariner of hop-headed Sam Coleridge's fevered opium dreams that became "the poem."
Hunter "The Albatross" Mickelson tags along the Jayhawk ship of Captain Bill Self and keeps saving it from the bad luck that can sink the ships of unlucky captains.
Remember, Captain Self, take good care of the Albino Albatross with the read head feathers.
Under no circumstances go on this voyage without him, or take him and club him with an oar.
Do not put him back in the deep freeze.
Another season there might end him.
And then the ancient mariner Self will stand with...
"Instead of the cross, the Albatross..."
And about his neck it will hang.
Rock Chalk, Albatross, rock chalk!!!!!