(Author Here: RIP/DFW--in the interest of ensuring our new No.1 ranked Smashing, Thrashing Jayhawks (that have lately been playing to a man the best basketball seen around these parts in years) avoid getting big heads until after they win the conference title, and national championship, some irreverent questions are posed by yours truly. Without further ado...)
What if Hunter Mickelson lifted weights and was cut enough to out clean and jerk Ronnie Howard?
What if Wayne Selden's barber razor cut a part on both sides so as to help Wayne stay aerodynamically stable on drives from the wing?
What if Perry Ellis became at least as aggressive as Melissa McCarthy trash talking perps with Sandra Bullock in The Heat?
What if Frank Mason didn't act as tired after one Bad Ball drive once in a game, as he did last season after 15 each game?
What if Devonte Graham started playing the game with a stove pipe hat fitted to perma-form that state of the art 'do of his?
What if Brannen Greene tried a sun lamp?
What if Svi Mykhailuk tried a sun lamp , too, while simultaneously trying to master just one 3-point shooting spot on the floor?
What if Jamari Traylor took injured leg dragging lessons from Mario Little?
What if Landen Lucas lifted weights and was cut enough to out clean and jerk Hunter Mickelson and Ronnie Howard?
What if Carlton Bragg traded in his Mylar Man super hero costume for a stretched version of Robert Downey, Jr.'s Iron Man Rig?
What if Cheick Diallo enrolled in 18 foot Jumps Shot in the Flow of Team Offense 101, or at least audited it a couple of weeks?
What if all the walk-on started manning up and taking it to iron, instead of taking all of these sissy trifectas, when they get in?
What if jaybate 1.0, who is now so old that he cannot entice even nymphomaniacs free basing aphrodisiacs at closing time in a red light district in Bankok with a trash bag of China White on his shoulder and is not only fecally challenged, but is also a Steven challenged, jamless Namjoon, left posting to the youngin's?
(Note: all fiction. No malice.)
