"Some Ways to Get in Iowa State Fans Heads Before the Game"
~Insist on mis-spelling their school's name as follows: Eyeowa Steight Psiklonz.
~Tell them that Self-Stalking is caused by GMO corn.
~Remind them that corn-based E-85 has less energy density than 87 Regular.
~Constantly remind them about how LaFrentz, Hinrich, and Barnes played out of state.
~Constantly remind them that Bill Snyder, when an assistant at Iowa, would have been happy to take the ISU job.
~Remind them that Wheaties is the breakfast of champions and Corn Flakes is the breakfast of pig farmers.
~Tell them that despite inventing the electronic digital computer on campus between 1937-1942, they were never able to capitalize on it.
~Tell them that a state with Des Moines as its center of culture is not so much a culture as a series of interstate exits.
~Remind them that Floyd and Eustachy might get into the Basketball Rogue's Hall of Fame on the first ballot, if there were one.
~Last Final Four was 1944.
~Last Big 12 title was 2000.
~Cummulative W&L Statement: 1255–1256
~Mascot and team nickname don't match.
(Note: all fiction except for dates and W&L statement and mismatch of mascot and team nickname. No malice.)
