Preston playing this season? 1 in 10,000,000
De Sousa helps us before February 28th? 1 in 100
Devonte averages 15 FGAs the rest of the season? 1 in 1
Vick scores 30 in a game? 1 in 2
Newman dishes assist to Svi? 1 in 500
Svi starts driving it for short treys? 1-4
Azuibuke makes a trey? 1 in infinity
Azuibuke goes off for 30? 1 in 10
Azuibuke clears 20 caroms. 1 in 50
Garrett makes a trey? 1 in 500
Lightfoot backs a blue meanie down and dunks on his grill? 1 in 10,000
Cunliffe holds Trae Young to single digit scoring? 1 in 20,000
Clay Young dunks twice in a game? 1 in a Graham Number
Teahan makes a game winner? 0
Self says: Preston plays tonight? Hell forms an ice cap and Satan palms a snow ball without it melting