(Warning: Coarse, vulgar, insensitive wit follows. Do not read unless you loath UT, since the uncalled throw down of a KU player in Austin)
~Run over them with an asphalt roller and call them Texas nano frisbees.
~Pound Longhorn Oysters with a meat tenderizer and sell them to Austin restaurant chefs as Longhorn Scaloppini to be sauted and then served with a chili marsala sauce and wrapped in a Longhorn hide taco.
~Shred one Longhorn oyster on a French mandolin and toss shredded oyster with balsamic barbecue sauce and call it a Texas Pasture Salad.
~Sun dry one half Longhorn oyster, sew a mouse felt brim to it and call it a Texas Trilby.
~Grind up Longhorn oysters and mix with alcohol from corn and call it Testehol (don't mention the low energy density).
~Paint them orange and take them to a skeet shooting range and sell them as Texas clay pidgeons.
~Cut them into 0-rings and sell them as Texas breath mints.
(Note: All fiction. No malice.)