Flory the Benched Big Man
(To the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon”)
[Verse 1]
Flory the benched big man, soared above the floor,
Blocking shots and throwing down, the fans all begged for more.
In Waco he was rolling, dunking with such ease,
But Bill Self had his favorites, and Flory took a seat.
[Verse 2]
KJ’s got the minutes, though the defense fell apart,
Sixty in a half we gave, yet Flory watched the arc.
Bears were draining jumpers, layups came in waves,
Bill Self kept on watching as they ran us off the stage.
[Chorus]
Oh, Flory the benched big man, sat and watched it burn,
Dominating first half play, but never to return.
Oh, Bill Self’s stubborn coaching ways, are getting old and tired,
Maybe it’s about that time—could Bill Self just retire?
[Verse 3]
Fans were left there shouting, “Where’s our freshman beast?!”
The paint was left wide open, KJ fouled at least.
Flory could’ve saved us, swatting shots all night,
But Bill Self stuck with comfort, and waved away the fight.
[Chorus]
Oh, Flory the benched big man, sat and watched it burn,
Dominating first half play, but never to return.
Oh, Bill Self’s stubborn coaching ways, are getting old and tired,
Maybe it’s about that time—could Bill Self just retire?
[Outro]
Now the March is coming, and we’ll see what unfolds,
Will Bill Self trust the future, or just the same old roles?
Flory waits in silence, ready for the call,
But if Bill Self keeps on Bill Self-ing, we may just lose it all.
