🏀 KuBuckets Archive

(Roll credits over a bunch of weird Jeff Koons kitsch art figurines of basketball coaches, and players and cheerleaders. @jaybate 1.o productions presents: The Transition Zone.)

Voice Over Narration: There is a sixth dimension beyond that which is known to coaches. It is a dimension as vast as a field house the size of Saturn and as timeless as a game with an infinite number of over times. It is the middle ground between offense and defense, between playing up tempo and grinding it out, and it lies between the pit of a coach's fears and the summit of his knowledge of Xs and Os. This is the dimension of basketball imagination. It is an area which we call the Transition Zone."

(Break for a PetroShoeCo Commercial.)

Voice over narration: Mr. John Beilein is a 61 year old head basketball coach of a major midwestern university still looking for that brass ring of coaching--a national championship. Having coached in such backwater places as Nazareth, Le Moyne, Canisius, and Richmond, and then at such majors as West Virginia and now Michigan, he believes he has seen pretty much every topsy turvy, unpredictable situation possible in college basketball. He believes he has learned to cope with almost anything and has become skillful enough to seriously pursue his dream of winning a national championship late in his career.

Slightly over a week ago, everything was going well for Coach Beilein and his young Michigan team. They had just beaten a ranked Syracuse Orangemen team coached by a sleep walker named James Boeheim. and faced two impending cup cake games before a tough road game against highly ranked Nike-stack University of Arizona.

But then something went dreadfully, unexpectedly wrong for Coach Beilein. His young team played inconsequential New Jersey Institute of Technology--a school most Division I majors and most sports reporters had never heard of before. They lost in the biggest upset of the young season. Beilein maintained his composure and said all of the right coach speak things.

But then another thing went dreadfully, unexpectedly wrong. Beilein's young Wolverines lost to Eastern Michigan U's 2-3 zone defense that was not sharply different from Syracuse University's 2-3 zone.

Now, Coach Beilein has lost two straight games to cupcakes, and must travel to Tucson to be beaten down by the deeply talented Arizona Wildcats.

This is life in the transition zone.

Of course the narration is in Rod Serling's voice. (Submitted for Jaybate's approval.)

This site is so great that I try to tolerate some things:

• Occasional references to controversial non-BB subjects
• crossfire between jaybate and whoever is currently dueling with him
• Use of "compliment" instead of "complement"
• Use of "effect" instead of "affect"

But I draw the line with Jeff Koons.

Write whatever you wish with my admiration and blessing, but expect me to keep my eyes a Koons-free zone as far as possible.

@ParisHawk

LOL!

Also, I want to complement you in sharing your insight about the distinction between complement and compliment, and I want to compliment you for sharing it. :-)

@JayhawkRock78

That would be the ultimate!

Who has a better team, New Jersey Institute of Technology or Incarnate Word?

@wrwlumpy

Howling! PHOF!

@wrwlumpy

Trivia: name the UIW mascot and whether or not it is incarnate, or not.

Nebraska just found out just how tough the Incarnate Word was!

UIW 74
NU 73

AWIII is not even on roster in box score. Also not a DNP. Did he quit, or go down to injury?Have you already remarked on this and I missed it? http://www.uiwcardinals.com/index.aspx?path=mbball ↗

@jaybate-1.0 he has to sit out this year!

@Crimsonorblue22

What a relief. Thx. Want to see that guy succeed somewhere.

@Crimsonorblue22

Sitting out a year at Nebraska in basketball would be like waiting in line for tanning advice from Tom Osborne.

@ParisHawk I think, never in the history of the universe have I used " effect " or " affect " in the proper manner.

I also don't care. lol

@nuleafjhawk

I affect being effected by it, but I am really not.

@jaybate-1.0 As you can tell, my gramma and punksheation ain't worth a hoot either.

@nuleafjhawk

Eye dowt that>Bt who em I 2 seigh||||\
?

Always say: never say never tuh rulz uh gramma.,;

That becuz u is edgemakated.

@wrwlumpy

You should add Eastern Michigan to the mix...the Big 10 is taking a hit with all these losses.

Teams in the top 25:

• Big 10 - 3 out of 14 = 21%
• Big 12 - 5 out of 10 = 50%

@JayhawkRock78

We are soon going to have to start "The Dictionary of Intentionally Incorrectly Spelled Werds! :-)

The National Invitational Tournament of Unknowns.

New Jersey Institute of Technology, University of Incarnate Word, EMU, Wichita State

Sponsored by Under Armour and Somerset Shaving Oil

Simulcast by PBS and NPR.

Held at Area 51.

Date never announced in advance.

i before e except after c = BS

Efficiency

@wrwlumpy

Howling!

The Big 16 Incarnate Conference

University of Incarnate Phoneme

University of Incarnate Participial Phrase

University of Incarnate Sentence Fragment

University of Incarnate Predicate Adjective

University of Incarnate Adjectival Clause

University of Incarnate Diphthong

University of Incarnate Onomatopoeia

University of Incarnate Exclamatory Sentence

University of Incarnate Vowel (replaced U of Incarnate Mispronunciation which jumped to the SEC)

University of Incarnate Cognate

Note; Ten teams. Round robbin. No play-off. Winner always left out of tournaments and play-offs.

@jaybate-1.0 I think they already have a complete library at Mizzery.

@JayHawkFanToo You're right. We (I'm a Big1G fan) had success in the ACC challenge, but our top teams, Wisconsin, MSU, and I think OSU all lost. So we're taking some major hits right now.

Big 8 plus Big 12 divided by 2

That's what you do...