When a #3 team beats a cellar dweller 90-88 on the #3 team's home floor, something really weird is going on.
Round up the usual suspect, print him, collect the Rollex, photograph him: Bill Self, face on, Bill Self profile.
Self has created a worthwhile opponent for his team amidst a string of bottom dwellers: TCU, KSU, TTech, OU, and OSU. The created opponent's name is Bill Self State.
Self ran them ragged in practice during the week of getting better.
He tongue lashed them as only scorpion tongued Self can. He withered their confidence outside the view of fans.
He took a #3 ranked team on a roll and crushed it into the kind of dead legged, half step slow, joyless bunch of players that are wondering what in God's creation it takes to make this demon with a whistle and fractured Okie syntax like them.
Then he sends them out with a joke of an offensive scheme the first half against KSU that amounts to little more than 4 out, 1 in, and take turns trying to make a play on your own, while I scream at you for playing defense like a bunch of babies.
They get lucky with a few treys and open a 10 point lead that would have been 30 points had Self even let them run the first week's offensive stuff.
He flatters them with confidence builders like "This is the worst defensive team I have had at Kansas."
And as if to show them just how unimpressed he is with the flipping lucky 10 point lead they eeked out the first half, he sends them back out on the floor and purposely has them run things that won't work with what little Helmet Hair is able to get his pitiful bunch of City Leaguers to take away! Seriously, its like Self told Snacks over halftime to text his old boss, Weber, and say, tell us what you are going to take away, cause Self wants to give them plays that won't work against it so they have to figure out how to beat someone themselves, okay? And Weber complied and Self rattle off four plays that absolutely wouldn't work worth a fecal deposit, and said, "get out their and win it with defense." And the players said, "But, but, coach, what defensive scheme do you want us to run this half?" And Self laughed that withering laugh of his and said, "Screw it, make up something yourselves. I've tried every thing with you babies, and you won't even stay with your own shadows. Get outta my sight. I'm not even sure I'm coming out the second half. You guys are destroying 11 years of teams building a defensive reputation at Kansas in one lousy season. Get outta my face."
And they trudged back out and not only frittered away the lead, but then completely stopped playing defense and said, "Let's show that sunnuvabitch, let's swap baskets the entire second half until he infarcts over there!!"
And that's just what they did.
They did not find a way to win it.
They fought all the way backwards to even with seconds to go, despite shooting 50 percent from trey for the game. Do you have any idea how bad they had to have played and how little they had to have guarded to fritter away a ten point lead while shooting 50% from trey? Its almost a statistical impossibility.!!!!
Against even a half way respectable opponent they would have been handily drubbed the second half.
But not this brow beaten, dead legged bunch with an OAD, and not against a hilariously bad KSU team.
No, the Ukrainian Kid, of all persons, took a pass on a break with seconds to go and dribbled and three-stepped his way into an uncalled charge and still managed to hole one that sent the farmers back to finish their manure shoveling chores.
Frankly, winning this spectacle of induced cluelessness on not one but two bad calls that unconscionably favored KU (KSU got home jobbed out of the game), seems perhaps this team's ultimate revenge on its own Machiavellian head coach.
Ha, Bill, they showed YOU!!!!!!
They proved they could give a game away, play no defense whatsoever, and still find a way to back into a win inspite of you!!!!
I watched the final minute and a half twice and, Bill, I actually think I saw the refs look at each other after reviewing the missed travel and the missed charge, and one appeared to say to the other, "I've never seen a coach screw with his own teams heads this much. Of course, the basket didn't count. Of course the kid traveled. Of course the kid charged. But I want to give this W to the KU players for putting up with all of his shit." And the other ref seemed to say, "Yeah, and if we do call it, KSU will just choke, and Self with finally give them some stuff to run that works and KU will win the OT by 5 and we'll have hang around here just that much longer for the same pay. The spread is toast regardless. I don't want to give Self that satisfaction. Let's just give his team the call and the win, and see how he likes facing them after they showed him they don't need to play his goddamned Self Defense to win. That ought to keep him up a few hours later than normal tonight."
And that's what the refs apparently did.
And the players?
They must have shouted:
Defense?
We don't need no stinking defense!!!