🏀 KuBuckets Archive

Ran out of gas in Columbia and was offered the Chancellor's job at MU.

Sam Brownback picked him up hitchhiking to Lawrence on the Kansas Turnpike and tried to make him pay the toll.

D-CIA Pompeo ordered 24/7 satellite surveillance to make sure he was keeping in shape for basketball season and it all felt a little too Orwellian.

Had to stay at his former college to work off parking tickets.

Decided that tweeting about playing KU basketball was more fun than actually playing KU basketball.

Missed the West Lawrence exit and kept going till he got to BIG LOVE in southern Utah, and could not go back to monogamous culture.

Boot camp.

(Note: all fiction. No malice. Not about Jack Whitman.)

@jaybate-1-0 Nice .. got me thinking too.

Self instituted a no facial hair policy, but only for white power forwards that were transfers.

Someone, likely Coleby, tweets him under the screen name "@myrosterspot" implying bodily harm.

He got Bragg's room and he gets a secondary high each evening. A free bong in the ceiling, though.

That crazy woman that was after Vick scrawled "I will not be ignored" in lipstick on his car window.

He said "Yes sir" to Hudy and Hudy got really mad. He still doesn't know the problem there.

William said it was ok, but Mary objected (gratuitous W&M reference before anyone else does it)

Made the huge mistake of wearing a "MAGA" hat to an on-campus free speech conference.

Nike called and reminded him that the embargo prevents top big men from coming to KU; call intended for Udoka, but Whit missed that.

Coach Townsend called him (Greg) "Kite" one too many times.

And, finally, saw the disturbing sight of Self clucking around on the Court at AFH, chanting, "won't play MU". A jam packed AFH agreed, save one very wise man. (picking the scab here -- just enjoy it).

@jaybate-1-0 YES!! Nice to see your comical side has returned.

@HighEliteMajor

OMG!!! You totally topped me!!!!

The first one with the facial hair angle...OMG!!!

And then they kept coming...

PHOF!

@kjayhawks

I've been in my dark James Ellroy places for a while.

My funny bone had a stress reaction!!!!

Trying to tape it and start playing through again.

I just thought it was because he realized he sucked and wouldn't get any PT.

@jaybate-1.0 Here is a couple:
Whitman shaved and couldn't get by the new dorm facial recognition software.
Missed practice for "Game of Thrones".
Ivy league played on 9 foot goals.
T.J. Whatley called and wanted his face back.