I am so disappointed. I have lived under a false illusion. I was naive. I believed. I had faith.
While I have enjoyed the banter in past years related to Bill Self's on court decisions, I have held one thing to be true -- we have a coach of extremely high character, one that we can be proud of.
I don't believe any more.
I've read comments here, and around the twisted world of social media. I am just flat embarrassed by what some KU fans will say to spin this. Look at the FBI thread here. Spinning the information to try and hold on to the illusion of innocence, or what can be "proven."
Guys, we all need to get real. We are not a lawyer for the head of a crime family. The issue is not whether we can get off, or pay off a juror, or not get punished. I hope everyone grasps that.
We all need to understand that it is over. We were in one place before this trial began, and now we're in another place now. Different worlds. One world was predictable and easy. The other world is laced with land mines and dangerous.
One of my fears in this prosecution was that it could target the pristine guy. The one that was held beyond reproach. The guy who seemed to be the perfect coach. Why? To get that big time conviction. To make the news. And to destroy the NCAA (whom a certain segment despises -- the misguided "exploitation of athletes" crowd). I'm not surprised.
The question was, why bother targeting Gatto, etc? Very small fish. And I answered the question at the time. To get to the more important targets.
Everything changes now. Would anyone be surprised if this thing takes on a life of its own? That the media firestorm becomes immense? That the KC Star makes this their focal point?
Would you be surprised if by season's end Bill Self is not the head coach at Kansas?
Heck, would it surprise you if Kansas demanded return of salary from Bill Self based on a breach of contract?
Would you be surprised if a criminal charge is filed against Bill Self for conspiring to defraud the University of Kansas? Or first against an assistant coach as the appetizer?
Would it surprise you if there is a nasty little wiretap floating around out there?
To the point I made in one of my first posts after this entire story broke last spring -- the prosecutor could really be focusing on the high profile target and developing the case. Getting his witnesses. If the prosecutor gets convictions, do you think it possible that the newly convicted felons, on the precipice of a stint doing federal time, might spill the beans?
What should be concerning is the prosecutor's desires here. And the motives of the prosecution.
But irrespective of a future prosecution, this could still mushroom into a disgusting spectacle for the program we love.
Nothing should surprise you.
And please don't suggest that there is no "proof" that Bill Self knew that Adidas paid players. This insults everyone's intelligence.
And please don't suggest there is "no way" any of the scenarios I referenced above could happen.
I can assure you, we are entering a very new arena. It is extremely treacherous. There are many twists and turns to come.
But whatever. We're along for the ride, like it or not.
Regardless, I will never, ever look at Bill Self the same way again. When you truly believe something about a person, and that belief is shattered, it just makes you feel stupid.
It is over. And I am wildly disappointed.