🏀 KuBuckets Archive

@JayHawkFanToo and @mayjay

Do you think the pros, shills and disinformation wannabes really do even some of the stuff on that list?

Team work?

Good cop, bad cop.

Rapid response.

Delayed response, when stumped, to work out a strategy?

And so on.

I used to doubt it, but now? Well, I'm wondering a little?

How about you two?

Only a few years ago, the lists floating around on the internet were less than half that length.

Is the domestic disinformation industry tooling up?

Hey, maybe the disinformationista are inflating the lists with disinformation, eh? That would be a sweet irony, wouldn't it?

But i'm so wracked with self doubt I can't be sure.

Howling!!!!

FWIW, I'm reading a good history about the rise, supremacy and fall of the domestic railroad industry in the 19th to late 20th Centuries. Really fascinating analogue for the evolution of the domestic internet. In the 1990s, quite a few institutional theorists and policy wonks used the 19th Century railroads as an analogue for studying some of the dynamics of internet development and what kinds of regulations might produce what outcomes and asymmetries of cost and benefit with the internet. Its fascinating how close the parallels have actually played out in some ways, but not others. Both railroad histories and the studies of regulatory strategies IMHO foreshadow some of manipulation of the internet, especially the weaponized abuse of information and disinformation at many levels of participation in the information networks.

Railroads and internets. The same, only different.

It might behoove you two to read up on some of this stuff.

Fascinating and edifying.

Still more...

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@mayjay

Every once in a while.

Oh, no, now I feel insecure again.

(dry washing)

Go, team, go!!!

.

@JayHawkFanToo

Oh, wait, I've got to do some dry washing.

Okay, okay, okay, I, I, I...

I must be wrong.

How could I possibly be right?

Oh, jeez, oh, pete....

I am wracked with doubt and engineered dissonance.

Oh, my god, what'll I do?

What'll I do? What if I'm wrong. What if if Coach Self's salary and supplemental income from basketball related activities (leaving aside entirely the coupons he clips), isn''t the reputed $10M?

What if I have made a faux pas?

What if I'm....not perfect?

Oh, noooooooo, Oh my god, puhleeeeeeease let me be right about the reputed $10M.

Pretty please, pretttty, pretty, pretty, please....

Oh, no, no, no, I better go double check.

No, no, I don't dare do that!

Wh-wh-what if I'm wrong???????

Twenty-Five Rules of Disinformation
1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Regardless of what you know, don't discuss it -- especially if you are a public figure, news anchor, etc. If it's not reported, it didn't happen, and you never have to deal with the issues.
2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used to show the topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme. This is also known as the 'How dare you!' gambit.
3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth may work as well. This method works especially well with a silent press because the only way the public can learn of the facts are through such 'arguable rumors'. If you can associate the material with the Internet, use this fact to certify it a 'wild rumor' from a 'bunch of kids on the Internet' which can have no basis in fact.
4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element of your opponent's argument which you can easily knock down to make yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike, while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues.
5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule. This is also known as the primary 'attack the messenger' ploy, though other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents with unpopular titles such as 'kooks', 'right-wing', 'liberal', 'left-wing', 'terrorists', 'conspiracy buffs', 'radicals', 'militia', 'racists', 'religious fanatics', 'sexual deviates', and so forth. This makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label, and you avoid dealing with issues.
6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without having to explain critical reasoning -- simply make an accusation or other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent's viewpoint.
7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces the accuser on the defensive.
8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough 'jargon' and 'minutia' to illustrate you are 'one who knows', and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.
9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum effect.
10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A derivative of the straw man -- usually, in any large-scale matter of high visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were already easily dealt with - a kind of investment for the future should the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need to address current issues -- so much the better where the opponent is or was involved with the original source.
11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using a minor matter or element of the facts, take the 'high road' and 'confess' with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made -- but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, 'just aren't so.' Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly 'call for an end to the nonsense' because you have already 'done the right thing.' Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for 'coming clean' and 'owning up' to your mistakes without addressing more serious issues.
12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more quickly without having to address the actual issues.
13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic which forbears any actual material fact.
14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which works best with issues qualifying for rule 10.
15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place.
16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won't have to address the issue.
17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well with companions who can 'argue' with you over the new topic and polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key issues.
18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If you can't do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how 'sensitive they are to criticism.'
19. Ignore facts presented, demand impossible proofs. This is perhaps a variant of the 'play dumb' rule. Regardless of what material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any meaning or relevance.
20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent presentations -- as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede resolution. This works best when the crime was designed with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications.
21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body. Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed an unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim.
22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s), group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually address issues, you can do so authoritatively.
23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes.
24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their health.
25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid the issues, vacate the kitchen.
Eight Traits of the Disinformationalist
1. Avoidance They never actually discuss issues head-on or provide constructive input, generally avoiding citation of references or credentials. Rather, they merely imply this, that, and the other. Virtually everything about their presentation implies their authority and expert knowledge in the matter without any further justification for credibility.
2. Selectivity They tend to pick and choose opponents carefully, either applying the hit-and-run approach against mere commentators supportive of opponents, or focusing heavier attacks on key opponents who are known to directly address issues. Should a commentator become argumentative with any success, the focus will shift to include the commentator as well.
3. Coincidental They tend to surface suddenly and somewhat coincidentally with a new controversial topic with no clear prior record of participation in general discussions in the particular public arena involved. They likewise tend to vanish once the topic is no longer of general concern. They were likely directed or elected to be there for a reason, and vanish with the reason.
4. Teamwork They tend to operate in self-congratulatory and complementary packs or teams. Of course, this can happen naturally in any public forum, but there will likely be an ongoing pattern of frequent exchanges of this sort where professionals are involved. Sometimes one of the players will infiltrate the opponent camp to become a source for straw man or other tactics designed to dilute opponent presentation strength.
5. Anti-conspiratorial They almost always have disdain for 'conspiracy theorists' and, usually, for those who in any way believe JFK was not killed by LHO. Ask yourself why, if they hold such disdain for conspiracy theorists, do they focus on defending a single topic discussed in a News Group (NG) focusing on conspiracies? One might think they would either be trying to make fools of everyone on every topic, or simply ignore the group they hold in such disdain. Or, one might more rightly conclude they have an ulterior motive for their actions in going out of their way to focus as they do.
6. Artificial Emotions An odd kind of 'artificial' emotionalism and an unusually thick skin -- an ability to persevere and persist even in the face of overwhelming criticism and unacceptance. This likely stems from intelligence community training that, no matter how condemning the evidence, deny everything, and never become emotionally involved or reactive. The net result for a disinfo artist is that emotions can seem artificial. Most people, if responding in anger, for instance, will express their animosity throughout their rebuttal. But disinfo types usually have trouble maintaining the 'image' and are hot and cold with respect to pretended emotions and their usually more calm or unemotional communications style. It's just a job, and they often seem unable to 'act their role in character' as well in a communications medium as they might be able in a real face-to-face conversation/confrontation. You might have outright rage and indignation one moment, ho-hum the next, and more anger later -- an emotional yo-yo. With respect to being thick-skinned, no amount of criticism will deter them from doing their job, and they will generally continue their old disinfo patterns without any adjustments to criticisms of how obvious it is that they play that game -- where a more rational individual who truly cares what others think might seek to improve their communications style, substance, and so forth, or simply give up.
7. Inconsistent There is also a tendency to make mistakes which betray their true self/motives. This may stem from not really knowing their topic, or it may be somewhat 'freudian', so to speak, in that perhaps they really root for the side of truth deep within. I have noted that often, they will simply cite contradictory information which neutralizes itself and the author. For instance, one such player claimed to be a Navy pilot, but blamed his poor communicating skills (spelling, grammar, incoherent style) on having only a grade-school education. I'm not aware of too many Navy pilots who don't have a college degree. Another claimed no knowledge of a particular topic/situation but later claimed first-hand knowledge of it.
8. Time Constant There are three ways this can be seen to work, especially when the government or other empowered player is involved in a cover up operation: ANY NG posting by a targeted proponent for truth can result in an IMMEDIATE response. The government and other empowered players can afford to pay people to sit there and watch for an opportunity to do some damage. SINCE DISINFO IN A NG ONLY WORKS IF THE READER SEES IT - FAST RESPONSE IS CALLED FOR, or the visitor may be swayed towards truth.

Source: Anonymous

@truehawk93

Yep, and Mitch's probabilities are slimmer than Bragg's were at the moment Self said Bragg could be a great one.

We watch these situations with interest, because there are young men's lives at stake. Perform and something fine might happen. Fail to perform and its Tempe, or UNLV, or some place else in Basin and Range.

College basketball is brutal.

They are not paid, so that not for profit employees, like head coaches and ADs in revenue generating sports can divert huge salaries for themselves; that's the plain truth former NCAA Director Walter Byers made so clear in retirement.

There are things to love about college basketball.

But the truth is the truth.

Its a scam of players that gambling got in on first, then TV, and now the petroshoeco-agency complex are drawing blood from.

Its staggering what NOT paying the players proportionality to the revenues they generate makes possible.

It makes Bill Self's mongo house and $10,000,000 per year possible.

It makes the AD's salary and all the construction contracts he hands out possible.

It makes the NCAA's "member institutions" billion a year to pay for all the minor sports possible.

It makes the TV commercial revenues that support 24/7 sports networks possible.

It makes the billions made by big gaming on college sports betting possible.

College basketball: Its Scam-tastic!!!!

But a college degree would be a lot better than nothing at all, if only they would actually structure it so most of the players had an extra year or two, of tutors and typical college classes (instead of easy classes), so they could practice the long hours AND graduate.

@DoubleDD

Chamberlain leaving Phillie for Lakers to join Jerry West and Elgin Baylor and Gail Goodrich?

@Texas-Hawk-10

U r right. If he fails to deliver, and were willing to give up his ride and walk, he could stick as practice fodder. Not, if not.

But I bet the kid man's up and comes through.

@Kcmatt7

This annointment by Self is a good news/bad news thing for Mitch.

When Self hypes a 4-star, or less, player, it appears to mean Self desperately needs that player to produce big, because the adidas-recruiting-conveyor apparently didn't produce what was needed.

The good news?

Self thinks Mitch is his best shot for patching the hole in his roster drywall.

The bad news?

It means Mitch's development time is over and he has to produce good mudding and spackling now, or else at the end of the season he will decide to pursue his dreams at another program and Self will say something like, "We wish him the best."

Men of the sea put it slightly differently: its fish or cut bait time, Mitch.

Carlton Bragg, recruited as a four-star, and absurdly hyped as a 5-star subsequently, found himself in a similar situation last season. Self had praised Bragg's potential to the celestial bodies twinkling over Allen Field House on Big Monday night games. This young man could be a great one if he stays a couple seasons and develops. Ding, ding, ding! Warning, warning, warning!!!!!

Bragg was protected for a season, transmogrified from a happy bean pole to an incredible hulk, and then given a role he clearly was not remotely ready for. Bragg appeared to crack. Self kept throwing him to the water to sink or swim. He sank. He sank off the court, then on the court. Then he got we wish him the best.

Some players this works with.

Frank Mason was a best case scenario.

But make no mistake.

If Frank had cratered his second season, after being protected, he too would have gotten all the best.

If time waits for no one, Bill Self waits for no four star after the protected season, if the recruiting cat drags in anything at all.

Bill Self recruits for the future, but coaches for the NOW.

There are one, or two, development seasons, where any thing a player does in a game is gravy.

Next, comes production seasons. Players are given roles specifically designed to make the team win a conference title and 30 games. All that matters is fulfilling the role assigned. Fulfill it, even if you suck in other ways, and you continue. Fail to fulfill, and you are at the mercy of the recruiting fates.

Self appears to churn players like a fund manager churns stock. The difference between most stocks is very slim. Why hold one that has proven itself limited in upside, or an outright loser, if you can take a risk on another and get some sizzle of possibility into the portfolio to keep the investors taking risks on you and your fund?

Whenever a 4-star, or less, player fails to fulfill an assigned production role, he is likely to be wished the best. 4-star recruits are as plentiful as apricots in June. And they spoil fast, so you bottle the ones without bruises, and toss the rest.

In Self's defense, Self appears an equal opportunity churner.

OADs get churned by Self the same as 4-stars. The difference is OADs don't ever get a development season. OADs are assigned production roles immediately, even if they are rather limited sometimes. Take Diallo. The guy had as many fundamentals as Jay Bilas has working hair follicles on the top of his head. So: Self assigned him a production role that was the basketball equivalent of the width of a human hair on the side of Jay's head, where Jay shaves what little still grows. Diallo was supposed to guard his man a little, block some shots, and rebound for, oh, 20 mpg max. A stick back or two would have been icing.

Had he been able to fulfill that role, Self would have been happy to let him jump to the L, or keep him and round him into something at least resembling a complete basketball player, instead of the Quantum particle of a player that he was. You remember quantum theory, right? That's where the building blocks of the universe are quantum wave potentialities that don't come into existence until they are observed, and the location and form they take on in observation depends on the observer and when and where observed from. OADs, even more than 4-stars, are quantum wave potentialities, not players, when they first get to KU. Non OAD Frank Mason by his last season of development was a "player." He was real, not a potentiality. Everyone could see the same thing. OADs are quite different. Everyone sees something different in them based on where they are sitting. You can't argue with 46% on a 170 some 3ptas. The quantum potentiality has receded into actuality. We had a winnuh! But with Diallo there are fools still sitting around seeing him differently somewhere from where ever they sit.

But Self is not a fool. He gave Diallo a production role the width of a human hair, and he couldn't "getter done." Diallo jumped. I will never believe for a second that Self tried very hard to persuade him to stay. Self is okay with recruiting quantum potentiality. But he is a confirmed Newtonian, when it comes to coaching. He likes real stuff that can do real things, while in adidas. He builds title winners and 30 game winners with real roles, not potentialities.

Sometimes board rats misunderstand the roles that Self assigns. Take Jamari Traylor. Endlessly many complained that The Jam Tray was a coach's pet that never got good enough to get the minutes he got. Wrong! Self never gave The Tray a big role. Self was clear what The Tray's role was: development the first season, energy the second season, and guarding and driving the lane once or twice a game the last two seasons. His injuries ensured he would never be given a wider role. But, as frustratingly unproductive as Jamari was in many regards, Jamari could always do the narrow role Self assigned him. The Tray would even do it some how, when he had no functioning legs.

Self is not so much a Soul Man (like Sam and Dave's great song), or a sole man (playing the petroshoeco-agency complex game for talent maximization), as a role man (maximizing C-titles and 30 win seasons with assigned roles getting met at any cost).

Mitch, large, or small, your real production role has been assigned.

Lace up your adidas and produce now, or be wished the best.

@jaybate-1.0

http://m.livestly.com/incredible-historical-photos/20/?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=breitbartcom&utm_term=native&utm_campaign=LIV_MOB_HistoricalPhotos1_50417&ss=1 ↗

!alt text ↗

It looks like a shot of Mt. Oread maybe near where the Inge music/theater building was eventually built.

I wonder.

After the NCAA lowered the boom on adidas-Louisville for hookers and what not, while AirJordan-UNC hangs out in the ethers of discipline for compromising the basic academic function of a major state university, your loyal board rat has to ask: what would have been the disciplinary results had the shoe contracts been on the other feet?

What if Louisville had been contracted with AirJordan and had just received a mongo-hugacious new contract, and had not needed to use hookers to overcome adidas' apparently restrictive talent pipeline, and UNC had used the hookers, whilst contracted with adidas?

Would the lopsided penalizations that seem involved have been reversed?

Leaving that sort of speculation for those wiser than I am and possessed of insider information I lack, mustn't this just be the pits for for Ricky Pitts.

Its bad enough that his Louisville Cardinals have to take the hit from the NCAA, but at the same time his old nemesis, Roy Williams, the guy who, while at KU, once beat his then rebuilding UK team 150 to something humiliating, gets to fade into the ethers on what appears to me to be perhaps worse transgressions.

Life ain't fair.

Just ask President Trump.

But let's not go too far in the dumps for Slick Rick.

He's got two rings and FU money.

And who knows?

Maybe the NCAA will throw the book at UNC yet.

Sure.

And maybe some rich and powerful folks will go to jail in these United States for war crimes and crimes against humanity.

@REHawk

Frank is a Nate Archibald waiting to happen.

Nate got lucky, because Bob Cousy was still with the Kansas City Omaha Kings and drafted him.

The moment I saw him play in KC, I figured Auerbach didn't take Archibald as a favor to Cousy, who was caught in the black hole of Kings-zone trying to get some players, when the idiotic management was not looking. These were the Morons that could not figure out how to draft complementary players for Oscar Robertson and Jerry Lucas back in Cincinnati. This was arguably the dumbest management that ever got control of an NBA team.

Auerbach, then the Boston President, apparently understood the rest of the NBA was too stupid to recognize and draft Archibald, so he could let Archibald fall to the Kings. But the Kings insouciance reached new heights, when they passed on Archibald in the first round. The rumor I heard was that Couz threw a fit and said he was leaving if they didn't draft Archibald. In typical Kings management fashion, they drafted him in the second round. I can't recall if Cooz coached him that first season, or left. Anyway, Nate set an NBA record for a point guard averaging 34mpg. The same season he set the NBA record for assists per game: 11. Kings brain dead management then decided to trade Archibald to the NY Nets for two players and two draft choices. Cousy infarcted and quit, if I recall. Archibald got injured with the Nets and played little. They shipped him to the expansion Buffalo Braves and he promptly tore his Achilles tendon and missed that season.Fortunately for Nate, Auerbach finally got ahold of him in a trade with Buffalo and Nate lead the Celts to the best record in the NBA three straight seasons and won a title with Larry Bird his first or second NBA season.

The point of all this recollection is to say that the NBA is now and always has been an association of never more than 3 reasonably intelligently run franchises and bunch of of franchises run by dildos with ties and suits.

Frank will have to get very lucky. He could revolutionize the NBA the same way Archibald did. The suited dildos of the NBA will not recognize Frank, same as they did not recognize Nate. They will see that Frank played under the modern equivalent of Don Haskins, and they will think that what Frank did at KU is what Frank is capable of, same as the morons thought about Nate Archibald.

Frank needs what few basketball men remain in the drug and shoe contract addled NBA to have a slot and a DC to use on him. If they don't, no one else will have a clue about him. Frank has the kind of speed Nate had, maybe more so. He is not the superb dribbler Nate was, but he has become plenty proficient for the NBA game today, which is three bounces and a cloud of treys.

Frank has an after burner he could NEVER use at KU, because our players couldn't keep and receive passes at that speed.

The guys in the NBA are good enough to keep up, if they will only give him a chance.

Only a few gate keepers ever recognize greatness outside the norm.

Most persons never dreamed Cousy could do to the NBA what Auerbach realized he could do.

mOst persons never dreamed Archibald could do to the NBA what Couz and Auerbach realized he could.

Frank needs his Couz, or Auerbach.

All the great ones outside the norm do.

This is a tragedy on many levels.

I'm ready for some right answers from Coach Self, Zenger and the Chancellor on shoe contracts and KU's failure to sign highly ranked talent at the 1 and 5.

I experienced what it felt like to play for conference titles with Ted Owens and Roy Williams. I experienced what it felt like to play for rings with LB and early on with Self.

What Self is doing now feels more like playing for titles than for rings.

I am not presumptuous enough to claim to know whether they should be doing it differently right now, but I for one am ready for some candor and leadership about why they appear to be playing for titles instead of rings, and why this is what they ought to be doing, and for how long? I'm talking about the "Tulsa with an OAD" approach to recruiting--the apparent Elite Eight ceiling.

I am one old grad no longer comfortable with Coach Self and KU banking big adidas checks, when the adidas conveyor appears unable to deliver talent making playing for a ring feasible, especially, if there were a feasible, right way to play for rings. It's one thing not to win rings. It's quite another not to take the steps necessary to have the talent to win rings, because one can make more money suboptimizing.

Time for leadership to step up and explain (without being defensive) to the faithful fans what's going on, why it has to be done this way, and how long it has to stay this way before we can recruit and sign the levels and amounts of talent at the 1 and 5 needed to play for rings.

I don't want Coach Self's head. He is the best coach in America. I want his candor.

Rock Chalk!

@REHawk

I was trying not to put too much pressure on Self, but ok--30 to 38!

We live in an inflated age.

30 to day equals 20 back when Self started coaching at ORU.

The draft is what needs to be eliminated.

The NBA should agree to limit each NBA team to signing two players each year. No draft.

Pro Team's recruit on college campuses the same as firms do.

Players sign if they want and that's that.

If there is excess talent, then add franchises.

@BShark

The guy has more resilience than a zektron Super Ball!

@HighEliteMajor

Reloading is best.

Shorn Maine Coons are the default.

Rock Chalk and good to hear from you.

Hypothesis: The purpose of the D league appears two fold:

1.) to develop players taken before they are ready, as part of an apparent draft program intended to informally subordinate NCAA D1; and

2.) to soak up the excess supply of players to discourage the formation of another competing professional league.

Does anyone have evidence supporting or refuting these two hypothetical purposes, or see any other apparent purposes to add to the hypothesis?

@globaljaybird

Does this in some way suggest the reputed Deep State is pulling ESPN's chain, too?

Good lord, I hope we don't learn the reputed Deep State launders drug and pedophile monies through Big Sports Gaming!

It's bad enough basketball has apparently to be afflicted with time zone and recruiting asymmetries. Surely a sports industry generating billions (trillions?) in gambling and ad revenues would not be a target of the reputed Deep State, would it? 😱

I don't want the greatest game ever invented wrapped up in that bottomless black pit!

Each year, a chorus sounds. It chants that Wilhelm Self aka the combined William Tell and Lone Ranger of basketball coaches and their overtures, cannot split the Honeycrisp apple yet again, cannot possibly replace the lost 18-23 year old players; that "last season" was the end of his run; that the returning and incoming players will not be able to replace the lost accord with cord-ripping efficiency, lost liberty tosses at the NGO-stripe, the vaporization of carom-ization, the atomization of trifectation, the loss of havoc wreaking ability to denude opponents of the cattle bladder, the incoming resistance to instances of willing assistance, the pop-tarting ratio falling below bakery standards, the Adolph's meat tenderization and Baylorization due to lost toughness, the rise of insouciant basketball IQs, and, or course, the inevitable arrival of some that--if they play more than mop up minutes--KU cannot possibly be a contender with.

To the following short list of American inevitabilities of death, taxes, and Deep State coups, one should add the following.

SELF. CANNOT. RELOAD. AGAIN.

These four words are increasingly the basketball equivalents of "The American republic is finished," "Dewey Wins!", "God is dead," "Truth is dead," "This is the end of history ," "Mission accomplished in Iraq," "Hilary will be the next President," and, finally, "the high ranking public officials and the pedophile ring that serves them will be arrested and imprisoned FOREVER."

Some things, good, or bad, just don't seem to happen, even when it seems VERY likely.

Bill Self has been on the ropes more times than boxer's sweat.

So: why haven't time, and the river, and the apparent petroshoeco-agency complex, put him on the coaching canvas?

I could give you a lot of sophisticated explanations and technical jargon of where the hat rabbits keep coming from, but that triggers perspiration on @JayhawkFanToo, and then the gaslighting starts and then I have to start handwringing and feeling all self- and Self-doubting to be a good team player in workouts here in the logonasium.

So: let me put it the way Grammie Jaybate 1.0 put it over a hunter's breakfast one 5:30 am, when she was outta the milk I asked for my oat meal, while seated in my dad's canvas duck hunting vest, at the long table in the huge kitchen full of coffee and frying bacon smells in the big white house with the huge porch surrounded by giant Elm trees in the small eastern Kansas town, not long before the Dutch Elm disease took most of them.

"Fortunately, there's more than one way to skin a cat," she said.

And that was when I got my first taste of heavy cream on oatmeal instead of milk.

Then and there, the substitution principle was introduced to me by a resourceful Main Streeter who was old enough to remember Tee Pees at the edge of town as a small girl.

She skinned cats different ways for me many times.

When my boot lace broke, she laced it up with twine and said it will hold till I can go to the store tomorrow.

When my pants tore another time and the grown up hunters were threatening to leave with out me, she just stapled my jeans and said, "It will hold till you get home and I can sew them for you."

When I didn't like the Brussel Sprouts she made, she threw a bunch of brown sugar on them and said, "I don't blame you. They're not very good. But you like brown sugar don't you?" She covered them in brown sugar. "Try that!" And I did and I got'em down.

When I awoke from a nightmare as a child and she got there before my folks did, and she said, "What is it?" and I said I dreamed of giant tornadoes with jack'o' lantern heads throwing me back and forth between them, she said, "Did they drop you?" Well, no, I said, clinging to her. "Well, then it woulda been a lotta fun to fly around like that, if you had known you were safe. You oughtta try to go back to sleep and see if you can get'em to play catch with ya again." And I did.

Now, trust your basketball Tonto here.

Jay Silverheels with a keyboard is typing to you, hand wringers.

Basketball, like grandmothering, is a game with many approaches to feline hair removal.

Bill Self is creative and determined, like Grammie Jaybate 1.0.

Hence 25-30 wins are possible yet again, so is a title, so is a March run, even if he has to staple some shorts and shirts together for awhile.

REHawk said:

@JayHawkFanToo Ah-ha! I found it. Cunliffe arrived in Lawrence 6'6", 200 pounds.

So: Sam is 6-4 and 195, indexed for the disk expanding anti-gravity of Lawrence, KS! A nice sized shooting guard!!!

wrwlumpy said:

!0_1497275222534_collage.jpg ↗

He looks disturbingly like Pepe the Frog from the Cult of KEK!

!alt text ↗

@KUSTEVE

So long as Russia has a monopoly on supplying LNG to the EU and a duopoly with China on the TransEurasian Super Corridors, there is less likelihood of sympathy for mass murdered Russians in the Deep State's Western media than Self signing an OAD 5, while he is contracted with adidas!

It's pretty clear to me that he transferred to be represented by Mitch McConnell his final season.

@wissox

Baseball is the greatest sport you can order a pizza delivered to the players during a game, but basketball is the greatest game ever invented!

@JayHawkFanToo

Oh good!!!

@jayballer54

No, wait, agents and shoes have no influence on recruiting!!!

Athlete's choose based on climate!!

And how cool the coach is.

And the celebrity attached to the school.

It's all a flipping level playing field and randomness. NOT.

💩

@jayballer54

The UK-WWW-NIKE PLANET HYPE-TRON ANTI-GRAVITY PARIMUTUEL STILL AND GAMBLING MACHINE IS CRANKING UP!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

UK...the odds are BIG GAMING-TASTIC.

BOL BOL BALL!

BET ON IT!!!!!!

@JayHawkFanToo

Woa! I didn't know Cunliffe had a gun!!!

I need a self-doubting, hand-wringer emoji!!!!!!! 🤣

Seriously, that's really great news, if we can nickname Cunliffe "Sam Bam from 3pt Land" !!!!!!!

@Lulufulu

Double allusion to Ford and David Jansen!!!

JayHawkFanToo said:

@mayjay

...and the best legs in the business...

Ya think?

!alt text ↗

@JayHawkFanToo

Influenced a lot of women to become cops, too.

@mayjay

I agree with you about Rick Nelson. I was a huge fan of hills, when he was on Ozzie and Harriet and singing Travelin man. When I saw a real bravo as a boy, I was disappointed that my young hero, Ricky, was portrayed as this tiny little guy who was very deferential to John Wayne. I did not understand that how are the Hawks required him to play the role web way, so Wells to contribute to John Wayne's grand presence. . Hawks, like John Ford, was a great director who always knew how to position the actors to make his store the best he could be. Like you, as I have gotten older, I have come to appreciate the job Ricky Nelson did in the movie. It was not good for his film career, but it was very good for the movie Walter Brennan made a long career out of making other people look better. The trouble was Ricky was already a star to me then and I could not let go of it. But now, he seems almost perfect in the role. Parks was a great genius. He could make any kind of movie. Watch Rio bravo and be amazed but the man who made the movie could also make gentlemen prefer blondes, Red river, bringing up baby, and wings. About World War I aviation. He was a flyer in World War I if I recall correctly. The French new wave directors were actually bigger fans of Howard Hawks than Hitchcock. Hawks deemphasis of plot and emphasis of nonlinerity and painterly composition and color was genius and shows up in Truffaut, Godard, etc. Rio Bravo and its bookend El Dorado were Hawks borrowing back from the New Wave forms and topping them tongue in cheek in the Western. While all the great heady directors were exalting Method actors like Brando, Hawks just said John Wayne was the greatest film actor next to James Cagney that ever lived!! God Hawks was an absolute man!

@mayjay

I had forgotten what a pioneer she was. She ran with the rat pack, then was in some of the first experimental westerns like Hawk's intentionally plotless rio bravo and experimental crime stories like John Boorman's point blank with Lee Marvin and Ronald Reagan (great great flick). Then she married Burt Bacharach and was likely the muse for many of his greatest songs, then spoke up about about children with autism two decades before it became a big issue. Their child tragically died of depression from the condition. Wanting to stay close and raise her autistic child, she jumped to TV and became the first woman to carry a 1 hour dramatic series and star as a cop--Police Woman. Then when she and Bacharach split when their adult child died, and she fell in with Johnny Carson. Rich Men loved her because she was rich and didn't need their money and sexy and smart. I admire and respect her much more now than back then. Helluva human being.

@mayjay

Yes, it's still awesome between Feathers and Chance!

@KUSTEVE

Damn, that meal inspired me to buy beef suet and lard to start frying my heavily marbled rib eyes half way done before finishing them on the white oak grill.

Green beans blanched then fried with bacon and onions and a spoon of vermouth.

Cream and pecorino Romano fredo on pasta stuffed with pancetta bits.

Fresh sliced apricots with cream and sugar.

A bottle of sangiovese aka Dago Red chianti in a milk glass!

Hiiii-yooooooohhhh

Rip Bravo on the flat screen.

@Kcmatt7

Definitely a best case scenario!

What the hell! Count me in on this. 47 % on that many treys would probably guaranty an perfect season!!!!

@JayHawkFanToo

And Bragg had two good wings to work with.

Ukunka may have to play a lot of Richard Kimball ball.

But I could be wrong.

I'm feeling pretty insecure these days.

I may misunderstand.

Or perhaps need a link.

:cartwheel_tone4:

Heck, I may not even watch something essential.

:cold_sweat::scream_cat:

@Kcmatt7

When someone makes 47% of 174 3ptas while running the team from the point guard position, that's enough for me to see him, think him, and dream him a trey shooting Autobot.

But maybe trey balling is in the eye of the beholder.

Wouldn't it be great if Devonte cut back to 174 from 243 and made 47% instead of 38.8%?

We can hope.

The moment a school hires Cuonzo Martin, it is probably time to start compiling a list for his replacement.

2008–2011 Missouri State
2011–2014 Tennessee
2014–2017 California
2017–present Missouri

Without putting too fine a point on it, so far, Cuonzo leaves shortly for a better job, when he’s on a roll, or he leaves for another equivalent job, when he's not. Either way he leaves. The past is sometimes prologue, or at least foreshadowing of possibility. The historical pattern is three seasons and a move. Again, the moves happen after good third years, and after mediocre third years.

Cue some theme music.

(Sing to the tune of Nancy Sinatra's schlocky, vulgarly arranged "These Boots Are Made for Walking.")

"These soles are made for walking/

and that's just what they'll do,

in three years from now/

These soles are gonna walk all over you."

The soles have a brand, but we won't get into that!

Cuonzo's W&L statement is .606. His most recent stint at Cal in the Independent Republic of Berkeley saw him soar to a scintillating (for him) .614 W&L. He has won only 1 conference title in his 9-year, HC career and that was in the modest MVC at Missouri State—reputedly Brad Pitt’s alma mater formerly known as Southwest Missouri State.

C-Man has been to only 2 NCAA tourneys in the era of the Big Carney, er Dance, when almost every team that finishes in the top half of a power conference seems to get invited. Looking back, the C-man's most accomplished season was 24-14 overall and 11-7 conference with a 4th place SEC finish, while coaching UTenn. He stunned everyone, perhaps even himself, by getting to the Sweet Sixteen that season.

Not meaning to slight Cuonzo here. I like him, except for when he cherry-picked Jaylen Brown out from under Self and my birds. Just trying to paint a picture. This guy makes Larry Brown seem like a home body.

And remember, Fizzou is NOT a home-coming for Cuonzo. He grew up across the river in East St. Louis, Illinois, not Missouri. He played college ball for Gene Keady and Squeaky at Purdue in Indiana. He only coached Missouri State for three years, which means Columbia, MO, is essentially a fresh start in meth country pit stop early on for the C-Man.

So: to reiterate, Fizzou probably should be compiling a list now for 2020, whether he gets them to a tourney in 2020, or finishes mid pack in the SEC and does the NIT thing.

To wit, my list of suggested candidates for Fizzouri's 2020 hire...

Chris Christie--New Jersey Governor Chris Christie should be about done with the legal quagmire of his bridge gate scandal and looking for gainful employment in 2020, either as an ex-pol, or an ex-con. Reputedly shutting down a toll bridge into a major metropolis in a shake down for some cronies is exactly the kind of character Fizzou's leadership traditionally relates well with. Not having any D1 coaching experience of any kind would also likely appeal to Fizzou, which had bad experiences with experienced guys like Quin Snyder, Mike Anderson, and Frank Haith from winning backgrounds. Christy is gregarious, and as a former lobbyist understands the unspoken currency of recruit, like a champ, and could later run for governor after being fired, or start a nostalgia band in Branson called the Neo New Christy Minstrels. Chris Christie: 5:1

Bashaar al Assad—I know. The besieged Syrian leader seems a long shot even for Fizzouri. But…Bashaar possesses a key attribute that will resonate deeply with Fizzouri leadership: no basketball skill and no basketball experience. B Assad, as his K-Street handlers refer to him, may lack coaching and basketball experience, but with his long political experience--albeit increasingly bad and perilous—he is well prepared for what the Fizzouri coaching graveyard offers up to most that like digging career holes there. Assad shows Fizzou grade talent by achieving a dubious daily double. Assad is currently reputedly targeted for overthrow both by the so-called US Deep State and by the USA Surface State. That could make timing an issue. Assad could become available too quickly, say well BEFORE 2020, like maybe next week? Assad reputedly shafted Joule Oil Company, which boasts a board full of American neocons, neolibs and intel types that should have known better than to plough big green into a place Israel's Likudniks view as desirable water rights, and Putin's Kleptocrats and China's for-profit Commies have their eyes on horizontal drilling into neighboring states. Let's put it this way: Syria's a place where even private contractors don't want to go fight dirty for time and a half, because of the reputedly huge American effort under way there to make the world safe for board members and preferred shareholders. The nattily clad Assad appears wisely to be anticipating an imminent job and career change. Assad would be a good fit at The Fake Columns, because he is used to ruins and would allow Fizzou to continue broadening spectrum of ethnicities Fizzou has hired to coach its hapless program. Just hiring more black and white coaches will NOT get it done diversity-wise in Methland. They need to be looking at everything from Islamists to Zoroastrians. But there’s an even bigger advantage to hiring Assad than increasing the percentage of Arab coaches working in D1. Assad's long alliance with Russia should give Assad a pipeline to Soviet professional basketball players (male and female) willing to have plastic surgery to change their identities and genders, when necessary, to look younger and more masculine, when necessary, and so pass for collage age men’s basketball amateurs at Fizzou. Bashaar al Assad: 4:1

Tony Bennett (the singer, not the Virginia basketball coach)—I know this seems another XTReme Reach, doesn’t it? But think about it. The 90-year-old Anthony Dominick Benedetto aka Tony Good Pipes may seem a surprising candidate, since he has reputedly never EVER picked up a basketball except once in 1957, when he played a game of HORSE with Frank behind the Sands, with the winner getting bragging rights for best shooting pipes. Bennett reputedly won and so Fizzou should consider one of the greatest singers of all time for its HC slot. Further, Bennett’s series of duets with younger singers—dig his thing with Lady Ga Ga in “That’s Why the Lady Is a Tramp”—indicate he can communicate with today's recruits. A plus would be that, at time outs and half times, the Fizzou scoreboard could run feeds of the last master of the great American song singing as only he can. Finally, "I Left My Heart Heart in Columbia Fizzouri," could become a retro chart topper for both Bennet and Fizzou. Tony Bennett (the singer): 3:1

Melissa McCarthy (as Sean Spicer)—McCarthy-Spicer would be a truly inspired choice, because she would “sort of” break the gender line in D1 Men’s Basketball coaching. She also lacks head coaching experience, which, as already indicated, would be a positive to Fizzouri leadership, and her use of the wheeled-and-motorized lecturn so popular with Hilary Heads and anti-Trumpers on her SNL propaganda appearances could stir the excitement and ridicule on the sidelines during Fizzouri games; and this could in turn give the program the kind of coaching edginess it needs finally to break .500 in the never-tough SEC. McCarthy-Spicer will almost certainly be done skewering the Trump Administration and Mr. Spicer on Saturday Night Live by 2020, or maybe even in three months, if Special Prosecutor Bob Mueller doesn’t like the cut of The Donald’s jib re: termination of Federal employees and related impacts on ongoing FBI investigations. Melissa McCarthy as Sean Spicer: 2-1

Queen Latifah (as Hilarious Clinton)—The Queen has long wanted to play Hilary Clinton in a biopic, because she is as desperate about being taken seriously as an actor, as Sally Fields and Tom Hanks were before their Norma Rae and Forrest Gump roles. It is already rumored that Hollywood is in a bidding war over the futures contracts for the book and script that will be written one day for the Hilarious Clinton Story starring, in the stretch of her career, Queen Latifah. In an allusive nod to Forrest Gump, a leading PR firm has already agreed the advertising tag line for the future film will be: “My name is Hilarious Clinton. People call me Hilarious Clinton.” Enter Fizzouri. Fizzouri hiring the Queen pretending to be, er, portraying Hilarious Clinton as the Fizzouri coach starting 2020 will create PR for Fizzouri that it could not afford to buy if it saved a centuries worth of .500 season revenues. It would genre-bend reality coaching with film biopic fantasy—one leading smoothly and effortlessly into the other. Its is a sweet fit in other ways, too. While she was Fizzour coach, it could be a reality TV show about a coach having a reality TV show instead of a show where a coach rehashes the last game with an insouciant, sycophantic moderator (those were for @JayHawkFanToo, though because of hypergaslighting I cannot be confident he will be amused). Next, there would be a movie about a reality TV show about a coach with a reality TV show, portrayed by a woman playing Hilarious Clinton who actually coached D1 while wearing designer seizure glasses. Heady stuff. Very neo post mod. The state of Missouri has a long history of backing corrupt Democrats that break the mold for what was thought tolerable in politicians. They are all recalled as salt of the earth types, when not doing the bidding of machine politicians, or foreign private oligarchs, that elect them with ballots of dead persons, and stolen primaries. They undeservedly ascend to great heights by others criminality and misfortunes. They are never at all what they seem, but also both willing to pull a lanyard, or a non secure email account, and knock over countries , as well as vote for building roads that go no where but stills, or Mena Arkansas. The Queen, as she is affectionately known, is obviously a salt of the earth type. Hilarious is obviously not what she seems and once from Arkansas. The Queen as Hilarious, maybe even nail the character by sporting some designer seizure glasses, and so will force Hollywood to take the Queen’s acting chops seriously. Cher, wearing a typically outrageous, cupless, bondage and discipline bustier without her dentures, but with fish net support hose, and Dr. Scholls stilettos, will award the prized statuette to the Queen out of Hilarious drag. She will thank the academy and thank all those Fizzourians in Methland for making her reality television high concept role as Hilarious coaching the Fizzouri Tigers to a .500 season one of the most memorable times in her acting career. She will blow a kiss and announce she is running for President in 2024. Her first stump speech will be in front of the columns and she will be backed by Sally Fields and Tom Hanks in character as Norma Rae and Forrest Gump, and Tom Hanks will say, “Miss Norma Rae, you look just like my momma, Sally Field. I’m Tom Hanks. People call me Tom Hanks.” To which Sally Fields will respond, “Shut up, Forrest, people really like me.” Queen Latifah as Hilarious Clinton: 1 1/2: 1.

There are more head coaching candidates to be considered for the Fizzou job in 2020, but they are longer shots than you might be ready for. For instance, Brad Pitt, after slumming it with Tarantino and becoming box office CBW after his brutal divorce from miss lightness herself, Angelina (nee Botox Lips) Jolie, has reputedly offered himself as coach of Missouri State, though he insists he would not debase himself by coaching MU. There is apparently something about college basketball coaching today that is very attractive to persons without experience, or knowledge of the game.

(Note: all fiction. No malice. None of the celebrities, or anyone else, for that matter, mentioned did any of the things satirized above. They are all doing great things for our entertainment, including the University of Missouri. Its been a hoot watching them in the SEC. Rock Chalk!!!)

Joe Dooley has to be the best coach not being seriously considered for jobs at desirable majors.

Come on, Ohio State, a risk and reap a real reward.

You're going to need one with Archie Miller at IU, Izzo always tough at MSU, Beilein the same at UM, Greg Gard ramping UW ramping back up, and Underwood trying to put Illinois back on the map.

What is missing in B1G basketball?

Answer: Self Ball.

Its proven to win titles there.

Its proven able to counter the apparent asymmetric recruiting phenomenon.

Hire Joe Doooooooooooooooooley!!!!

You won't regret it.

Frankly, the thought of KU going to war without Frank Mason's 47% trey gun and 4.2 rpg on the perimeter frightens me.

Has any coach in the history of KU basketball ever had to replace a point guard that averaged 47% from trifecta AND 4.2 rpgs?

I don't think so.

The guy was voted player of the year for a reason.

Frank Mason went all autobot transformer last season. Each game he walked on the floor looking like a Ford Fiesta ST in silks--a tiny, ripped out, hot hatch; then, before our eyes, he would deploy into this hulking, after burner charged, cylinder gun toting set of giant gears and struts with a chunk of All Spark at the center and he would go whirling and crashing down the floor 10 times his size wreaking havoc for all Jayhawk Land and all the little guys, too. It was like Self had hired Michael Bay as an assistant coach of point guards and he cut loose a barrage of special effects with Frank.

Autobots, unite!!!!!

His absence leaves a bigger hole in Allen Field House than the All Spark left, when it was flung out of Cybertron, or than those evil sunnsabitches have left in Transformers: The Last Knight, by turning Optimus Prime, the greatest cybernetic hero in the history of film, into a lousy villain, because some limp phallus screen writer could not keep believing in what every kid needs and deserves--an awesome kick ass, digitally rendered demigod inside a red, white and blue diesel tractor. Ah, I digress.

The point of the post is just to say we've got to move the high percentage cylinder gun to a 2- guard wing this year and that wing has got to get Optimus Frank's 4.2 caroms caroms, while Devonte repeats his three rpgs from the point (not a walk in the park), Josh's 7.4 gets picked up by 6-9 Billy Preston and Landen's 8.3 rpgs gets ramped to 10 rpgs by Doke.

But the real key is the 47% trey gun. Svi and Devonte can repeat their respective 40% and 39% from trey with any luck. Preston ought to come close to Josh's 39, from what I hear, probably more like 36-37%. And that "probably more like" put extra importance on what the 2-guard wing shoots.

I know, we can be much more productive offensively down low with Doke and Preston cramming it down low.

But in today's game, it appears someone has to have one of those insanely high 3pt percentages for a season to make a team really dangerous.

To wit: KU should contact former Kansan, D-CIA Mike Pompeo, for a special favor for the old home state. Someone should ask him to see what he can do about getting some of his tech wizards to get a rumored directed energy technology capable of broadcasting certain bandwidths into human targets to remotely hyp-MO-tize subjects to follow suggestions. The endlessly repeated message would be something simple, like...

"Malik Newman, Please Report to the Three Point Line, Malik Newman, You Are Wanted at the Three Point Line to Make 47%."

Call it Operation All Spark '18, or something slightly more cryptic, like Operation Treywood.

It would play in his head all night long starting now and be repeated through April of 2018.

Voila!

KU celebrates a ring.

@approxinfinity

Now that got me geeked up!!!!!

Smokin' with thuh Doke!!!!!

Optimus Doke!

KUBOTS!!!! DEPLOY!!!!

@approxinfinity

HOWLING!!!

@KUSTEVE

Some possible reasons for Bob Stoops stooping, er, stepping down from OU.

1. Finally read the brain injury research documenting the long term risks of playing football.

2. Running for Senator of Oklahoma.

3. Running for Governor of Oklahoma.

4. Being kicked upstairs to Chancellor.

5. Trying to get into a better spiritual place with football Jesus.

6. Can't bear to suck up to another zit-faced recruit south of the Red River.

7. Decided to accept Mercer's offer to replace Pence, after he replaces The Donald.

8. Oklahoma may be OK, but the Dallas Cowboys have cheerleaders a coach can date legally.

9. Wants to get back to coaching real football...in a Texas high school!!

10. Doesn't want to have to explain what's going on in Washington to his players.

(Note: All fiction. No malice.)

@wrwlumpy

Say, who is this "Jaybate" alias? Is he trying to steal the thunder from @jaybate 1.0? Or is it some accidental by-product of updating the site? :anguished:

Buffer space.